Old Memories, New Beginnings

The transformation from student to DVM is at once exciting and unnerving, probably in equal parts. And although I’ve worked for years to achieve the honor of throwing my cap up in the air on graduation day, now that it’s actually here I’m struggling with an unexpected and convoluted mix of emotions – loss, uncertainty, and excitement.

 My classmates and I have spent more time together than most high school friends, college buddies, or even family members do on a regular basis. Clocking in extreme hours during stressful situations together has allowed us to see each other at our highest highs and lowest lows. We’ve seen each other triumph and fail and have been there to both celebrate and commiserate with one another. It’s been four years of intensity: Studying, learning, and working at the clinic has bonded us together. So it’s a bittersweet experience as I pass these familiar, smiling faces in the hall and realize that I will be seeing some of them for the last time. I may run into them again, some years later at a convention or seminar, where we will say our courteous hellos, talk about old memories, catch up on new ones, and go on our separate ways. And as a result, my walk across the graduation stage in a few days symbolizes the end to all of this love, hate, sadness, and celebration that has become a part of the place I’ve called home for the past 4 years. 

 Professionally, there are other emotions lurking behind my smile and celebratory high fives. While I’m ecstatic and proud to be graduating, I’m nervous. I have faith in the fact that this is the right career choice, but a lingering feeling of exposure, vulnerability, and a fear of the unknown remains. I pushed myself academically, graduating with honors, and was fully dedicated to each learning opportunity in the clinics. But I constantly ask myself the ultimate question that every student does at the end of their training: Is that enough?

 My new degree comes with an almost overwhelming amount of responsibility. As a DVM, I am expected to know what to do when a critical patient is admitted. I will no longer have the comforting safety of the word “vet student.” And I will be the one who will support clients with tear-filled eyes as they say goodbye to their pet for the last time or direct staff in an emergency situation. In short, I will be the one in charge.

 Questions of adequacy cannot help but come to mind when I think of my new profession.  But I see the acknowledgement of my fears and vulnerabilities as a positive rather than a negative. If I didn’t feel the weight of this responsibility I would be doing my patients a huge disservice. As a veterinarian, I believe that it is crucial to recognize my limitations and not be afraid to seek advice—whether it is from a book or a more experienced clinician. Part of becoming a good veterinarian is developing the balance between student and teacher, knowing when to lead and also when to follow.

 As I prepare to “go out into the world” I am excited. I cannot wait for the future! And I hope that whether you are a student, new practitioner, or seasoned professional that my personal experiences will connect with you. I look forward to sharing my triumphs, successes, and struggles. Together we can go forward into the future and reflect on the past. 

All the best,

Dr. D