Dealing with Critically Ill Pets During the Holidays

The research literature is pretty consistent – at least in the United States, pets matter as much as people…or rather, everyone’s own pet matters as much as people, but we easily forget how important other people’s pets are to their owners. This can lead friends of yours who work outside our profession to say things like, “Why are you worrying so much – come to our holiday party…after all, they’re just pets!”

There is a big disconnect between a statement like this and what veterinary team members see in their practice every day, and it can sometimes lead to guilt. It might help to remind your friends and family that to the people bringing their pets in over the holidays, their pet’s health is a crisis.

So, just like with family members seeing their “joyful” holidays get taken over with the worry, anxiety, fear, and in some cases sadness and loss of confronting difficult health challenges, veterinary team members are working with very stressed out people. I encourage veterinary team members to reach out to their supporters, friends, family, and colleagues. Dealing with stressed out people is difficult, and we need people around us to understand the energy it takes to be kind and responsive to their needs.

In the worst case, some people may lose their pets over the holidays, and we are wired as a species to share in the pain of others. Watching people grieve can be draining, and sometimes confusing and invasive. The important thing is to give yourself permission to let negative feelings happen, and also to let them pass. Bottling them up will, unfortunately, make it more likely that you’ll bring them home with you to the parts of the holiday celebrations that you DO get to share with your loved ones.

In these situations, it is also important for us as team members to help pet owners through the loss of a pet sensitively. Saying goodbye to a companion is difficult enough during any time of year, but hits people especially hard during the holidays. Realize that your clients' emotions may be running especially high due to additional stress over family visits, holiday spending, or lack of sleep. Here's what you can do to make sure that any euthanasias you or your team perform go as smoothly as possible.

Tips for Handling Euthanasias with Sensitivity

1. Be aware that clients deal with their grief in different, though still normal ways. For example, don’t assume a person is not very attached to their pet if they just want to be “business-like” about the euthanasia process. Let your sensitivity to the individual client’s thoughts and feelings guide you, don’t project your own emotions and beliefs about the euthanasia/grief process.

2. Be self-aware: Because of your own experience with conducting euthanasias, you may have become somewhat inured to how your clients feel about the loss of their pet. Try to recognize how this can affect your interactions with your clients and redouble your efforts to personally and empathically connect with your client.

3. Learn to deal with your own discomfort with another person’s pain. For example, if seeing tears is hard for you, work on that by examining where that discomfort comes from and consider whether there are alternatives ways to view and “be with” another who is in pain. Recognize that tears and other expressions of pain are a very normal and healthy part of the healing process.

4. The process of conducting a euthanasia on a beloved family pet requires the clinician to perform two delicate balancing acts—to be an educator about how a family that may be naïve about how to say good-bye—while not imposing one’s personal beliefs about the “best” way to do that—and to be in tune with your own thoughts and feelings at the same time as you honor and connect caringly with the experience of others.