"No One Wants to Work With Her....What to Do?"
Dear Editor:
I work at an academic hospital in a stressful environment. Our unit runs 24/7, 365 days a year. We have one staff member who is a prime candidate to look at her "wake." No one on our staff wants to work with her, however, she is oblivious to her impact, demeanor and just plain refusing to be a team member. We would love to have her assess her wake. There is not one person who is willing to put the truth on the table because of her nasty nature. Advice?
Dear Team Member:
Who is the leader or manager of your team? I am curious to know if the person with responsibility for your staff knows and understands your dilemma. If not, I suggest you all, as a team, ask for a meeting in which to discuss the problem and potential solutions. The very worst thing you all can do is NOTHING, as that only allows the poor behavior of one employee to destroy the climate of the workplace for the rest of you.
When you set up this meeting, it is imperative that go prepared and in a proactive state of mind. This meeting is a problem-solving summit, not a "tattletale" session. You will want to be able to describe, using examples and behaviors, how this coworker's wake is causing difficulty. Then, assure your supervisor that you are reporting this issue not to get your colleague in trouble, but because you fear for the morale of the staff if something is not done.
Now is the time to examine how employees (everyone, not just your toxic colleague) is coached and provided feedback on performance and teamwork. Hopefully, there is an evaluation program in place, and it is being utilized to manage and shape employee productivity and work-related behavior. This is the place for correction to start, and your feedback will provide the information your manager needs to begin to coach your difficult employee.
If such a system is not in place, it needs to be started. There are many such evaluation programs available to managers and you should ask your employer to get one started. Not having such a system of checks and balances is the main reason why such situations occur. If people are not held accountable for their behavior and their work, some will misbehave or take advantage of the system. That has obviously happened in your workplace. Let me describe how such a system works.
Once your supervisor agrees to begin to do evaluations, the entire work group should sit down at a meeting and agree on their workplace vision . What do you all want your work relationships to be like? How do you want to cover for one another? How do you want to interact with one another while working?
What behaviors will not be tolerated in the workplace? Make sure everyone is very clear in this. Behaviors such as rudeness, drama, aggressive and passive aggressive interactions, and lack of team support are examples.
The entire team should be present and involved in this meeting and the manager can take down the vision, have it typed up, and all of you can then meet with him/her and sign it. Future evaluations will be measured against this document. In this way, you, as a team, have effectively set the boundaries of behavior for your interactions. You have made your desire to have a supportive and cordial workplace known and you all agree to keep each other accountable for sustaining this culture.
This type of document allows the entire team, including the leader, to explicitly define expectations. By signing the document, you all commit to the expectations. It then becomes the document by which all of you, including your leader, agree to be measured.
When your manager now sits with each employee to evaluate the job to date, this document leads and guides the discussion. I always like to start such discussions by asking each team member to self evaluate, using the document as a guide. After I hear how each person views themselves, I share my observations and feedback. We then discuss areas of strength and areas that need improvement. These become the next "coaching goals" for that employee, and are noted. If an employee is having difficulty, weekly meetings are held to monitor progress, until behavior seems to be improving. Then, monthly meetings are held. And finally, six month or annual evaluations can be reinstated.
This process brings the toxic behavior out into the open where it can be discussed. Employees must self-examine and reflect on their impact on the team. They are coached to learn more appropriate ways of working on the team.
If a troubled employee has the initiative and willingness to change, this process will help them do it. If not, this constant reflection and accountability will create enough dissonance that the employee may choose to leave and go elsewhere, where such scrutiny does not occur. Even if this does not happen, this process allows consistent and thorough documentation, all necessary in case the employee needs to be dismissed.
Just like any high-quality sports team, we all need coaching, practice and accountability. We need to know what is expected and what won't be tolerated. And, when our "team play" becomes sloppy or destructive to the group, we need to know the coach will fairly correct our behavior and hold us to the team standard. The coach can't win the game alone, and your team can't play without a coach.
With this letter in hand, (or an outline of the steps I've suggested), I recommend you approach your manager or leader and let them know that you want the very best for your team and you want the team to be able to function maximally . Given this desire, you would like to ask that a "tune up" be done to get everyone moving in the same, productive direction. Perhaps you can offer to help coordinate the initial meeting with the team?
In closing, destructive team members don't arise overnight and they aren't "cured" quickly. Although frustrating, it is good to keep this edict in mind as you all undertake this process. Look for small changes in your team member and validate them to her and to the team as you see them happen. Be vigilant in watching for such change as you want to make sure to reinforce it. In this way, you are all a part of "fixing" the problem rather than its discouraged beneficiaries.
Good luck with the process!
Dr. Kathleen Ruby
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