Coworkers: When the Honeymoon is Over
The first year of a new job is a lot like the first year of any personal relationship, except this is group “dating” on steroids. When you first meet your colleagues, their best attributes are what stand out the most. One technician has a great empathy for the clients, an assistant is able to make most animals feel at ease, the receptionist is able to multitask admirably, an associate is able to clearly and directly educate her clients about the diagnosis and treatment plan. This is similar to the initial courtship period in a romantic relationship. The new love interest has a great smile, his jokes make you roll on the floor with laughter, his spontaneity is refreshing.
This is how I felt when I started my first job as an official veterinarian. I could find no fault with any of my staff or associates. Everyone brought unique qualities and perspectives to the daily operations of the hospital. This is often referred to as “the honeymoon period.”
However, several months into the relationship, the very characteristics that attracted you to the person are either overshadowed by other personality quirks that weren’t obvious or didn’t seem important at the time, or these endearing traits become irksome as the novelty wears off. The smile is offset by the snort at the end of his laughs, the joke repertoire is limited and juvenile, the spontaneity is really a symptom of an inability to plan anything.
All of a sudden I started focusing on the faults of my coworkers. The empathetic technician was so sensitive to the financial concerns of clients that she was actually trying to talk them out of important preventative measures such as preoperative blood analysis, daily toothbrushing, and regular intestinal parasite screenings. The assistant with the great animal skills started getting on my nerves after spending 8 hours listening to the “kissy” noises she makes throughout each appointment. The efficient receptionist offends clients with her no-nonsense, practical attitude. The direct associate is a bit too direct with both the clients and the staff as a result of an apparent lack of empathy.
What happened to the perfect people I was working with? As with any relationship, the novelty has worn off and my coworkers were turning from superstars into regular people. It probably isn’t a great stretch to assume that they were feeling the same way about me.
Now that I have been at this practice for a year, we are heading into a more stable plateau. I make a conscious effort to remind myself of everyone’s qualities that makes each person a valuable member of the team. When tension creeps into my shoulders as my assistant coos and speaks baby talk to our patients, I take a deep breath and focus on how the animal is responding and how the client is happy that their companion is getting special attention. Some days are easier than others, but in the end, when I look at the big picture, I can’t imagine the team without each of its members.
Do you work with a lot of different types of people? What do you do when someone acts in a way that you wouldn’t, or in a way that bothers you?
